a little bit of this, a little bit of that

I need to get laid. I’m at the point where I’m wondering what coworkers would be like in bed. (Not that I’d act on it, but…)

I am hungry. But, I had my sandwich today and my carrots. I am bound by my own restriction. I don’t know where this came from, I haven’t restricted this hardcore in awhile.

I am frustrated, and tired, and angry. I want to punch something, I want to feel the pain. But, I promised boyfriend I wouldn’t punch a wall again. Plus, other than extreme dissatisfaction with myself, I don’t have the motivation to punch a wall.

I am so sick of moving! I have done most all of the work regarding moving living room furniture in, moving all shared items, cleaning the old apartment. I’m fucking tired of it, but if you want it done right, you do it yourself.

I haven’t been able to go to sleep at a reasonable time, even though I work at 5/530 AM. Which makes me even crankier for a job I”m already growing to hate increasingly more and more.

Having a fat day. I just want to stab my thighs.

Wishing I could text him, but I don’t know what to say.

Okay, mostly complaints, not thoughts.

“ It wasn’t about what I looked like, really, it was about what I felt like. ”

^^^ One hundred percent my relationship with my body.

But I have felt really shitty lately. Headaches all day, every day. Stomaches. Feel really weak and tired. I am lying in bed right now and feel like I can hardly lift my head.